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officialunitedstates:

me:  goes to lowes

lowes man:  how can I help you son

me:  first of all I am not your son.  second of all im only here because I love the thick stench of wood fibers and industrial chemicals

(via joshpeck)

Friday, August 22 with 33,392 notes
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katkinkat:

*forgets to talk to friends for 4 weeks*

(Source: baebees, via fairys-on-acid)

Thursday, August 21 with 1,009,294 notes
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rnackenzie:

if you don’t know what my voice sounds like you should keep it that way for your own sake

(via beyoncescock)

Tuesday, August 19 with 350,109 notes
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gllorious:

mom can you give me $1000000 please it’s for school

(via joshpeck)

Monday, August 18 with 362,759 notes